Seeing God's Back

 ²¹ Then the LORD said, “There is a place near me where you may stand on a rock. ²² When my glory passes by, I will put you in a cleft in the rock and cover you with my hand until I have passed by. ²³ Then I will remove my hand and you will see my back; but my face must not be seen.”-Exodus 33:21-23


This story of God passing by while Moses hides in the darkness is a story rich in meaning.  So often we hide in the darkness of our problems or grief or fear.  We don't even notice it, but as we hide there, God's glory passes by us.  He fills our darkest corners with his love and protects us from the evils that hide in their pouncing places within those darknesses.  It is not until God's glory passes us by and we see his back that we finally realize that God was there all along.


When we are in darkness it is not because God has abandoned us!  It is the opposite!  He is holding us in his hand and hiding us from his visible presence lest we be blinded by his glory.  He works quietly in our darkest hours, building us up, growing us, maturing us, molding us and renewing us.  And it hurts.  And we think God is not there at all.  And then we emerge into the light and we see God's back.  We see the work that has been done in our lives and in our very souls.


Sometimes the darkness is very long and very deep.  Sometimes we don't see God's back until our earthly lives are over.  Some people have lives that need for God to hold them in the cleft of that rock for most of their lives and they don't perceive that Glory working continuously until they are able to see God in his entire glory.


But sometimes we are blessed that we are hidden for only a little while, and we come out of the dark blinking and catch that wondrous sight of God having been working in our lives.  It's an awesome moment and we know that if we had been aware at the time, we wouldn't have been able to bear the beauty and miraculousness of it all.  We would have become paralyzed in our awe and wonder and God would not have been able to do the necessary work in us.


And so we must satisfy ourselves with knowing he has been there after the fact.  We can reflect on our struggles and what wonders God did while we were in our darkest places.  One day we will see his full glory and know why we are not allowed to look upon him now.  But for now we will rejoice when we see his back, for we will know that he has passed by.


Holy God,
Make us aware of those times you have hidden us in the cleft of a rock as you pass by making wondrous miracles in our lives.  Help us to rejoice in the darkness in the knowledge that you are there.  Amen.


Joys:  an unexpected day with just me and Cecelia yesterday; perhaps a hike later today if the rain clears up; Richard coming home tomorrow night for a few days