Angry With God

²⁰ “I cry out to you, God, but you do not answer;
I stand up, but you merely look at me.
²¹ You turn on me ruthlessly;
with the might of your hand you attack me.
²² You snatch me up and drive me before the wind;
you toss me about in the storm. - Job 30:20-22

¹ Why, LORD, do you stand far off?
Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble? -Psalm 10:1

Another disaster. So far, the death toll in Missouri is 116 and expected to climb.  It is absolutely gut-wrenching to see the pictures and videos.  The video of the monster tornado is terrifying.  Hurricanes, earthquakes, tsunamis, floods and tornados... lately, it seems they have come one after another after another in devestating proportions. 

I suppose I could fill this devotion with philosophical and theological thoughts on the subject.  "Nature and humankind are two different creations often at odds with one another"; or "God doesn't cause human suffering, but he is by our side to help us through it," but frankly, that's getting too hard.

As I look at the pictures and videos coming out of Joplin, I see the same fear and helplessness and grief that I've seen in the eyes of the people from Alabama and Japan and Haiti and New Orleans and so many other places in recent weeks, months and years and I can't help but feel angry with God.  I want to yell out at him, "What is going on here??  Don't you see this?  Don't you care?  Can't you stop it?"

I am glad God is great enough to bear my anger.  I am glad to know that just because I am mad at him, he's not going to "smite" me.  I don't imagine I am the only one angry at him lately... or the angriest.  There must be millions questioning him and maybe turning their backs on him as they feel God has turned his back on them. 

The thing is, even though we know God does not put us in a protective bubble, we still kind of expect him to protect us from physical harm.  Even though we know people die every day, we still kind of expect him to pass by us and our loved ones.  And when he doesn't, we don't understand.  We get angry.  It shakes our faith.

But God is so much greater than we can ever imagine.  He can take our anger and our doubts.  Somehow he will love us through it and still bring us from mourning to dancing.  When we get there, we will look back and see God's hand all the way through our struggle and our faith will be even stronger.

But right now as we watch and deal with the devestation, it's okay to be angry.

Lord God,
We don't understand.  Our hearts are breaking for our fellow humans.  Help us to see your hand when it is difficult to see you at all.  Amen.

Joys:  Relief workers; planning a beach vacation; a Cecelia day