Aching Emptiness

But they were childless because Elizabeth was not able to conceive, and they were both very old. (Luke 1:7 NIV)

Traditionally, when we think of Advent we think of Mary, Joseph and the angel Gabriel and the stories surrounding them.  But Advent is the forerunner of Christmas just as John the Baptist was the forerunner of Jesus.  I found an Advent devotional book that focuses on the story of  Zechariah and Elizabeth.  Most of my devotions through Advent will focus on my readings from this book, "Silence and Other Suprising Invitations of Advent," by Enuma Orkoro.

Elizabeth and Zechariah were long past the expected age of parentage.  They had prayed and hoped and dreamed for a baby throughout their whole marriage.  They were good people.  Zechariah was a priest and often was priviliged to stand inside the curtain in the Holy of Holies and offer sacrifices.  They both followed God's law as closely as possible.  But this one yearning of their hearts was denied them.

I wonder if each of us doesn't have something... one thing that we pray for over and over and over and no matter how good of a Christian we are, our prayer is still unanswered.  Why?  What do we have to do to get this deep desire of our soul granted by our Father who supposedly loves us?  Why are good community and religeous leaders like Elizabeth and Zechariah left with an aching emptiness in their arms and their hearts?  What about the aching emptiness of our own unanswered prayer?  Are we just not "good" enough?

There could be so many answers... Maybe what we think we need would ultimately be bad for us.  Maybe we have not grown up enough in our faith yet and God is waiting.  Maybe God just has something so much better in mind.

How does God's silence affect us?  Does it make us doubt our faith?  Does it make us angry with God?  Elizabeth and Zechariah continued to be faithful servants even though they continued to go childless.  How does God's apparent silence make you feel?

Today, pray that prayer again.  Ponder it.  Wonder about why God has not answered it.  Live with it and let it live in you today.  Feel what Elizabeth and Zecchariah might have felt about their own unanswered prayer for a child.  Mourn the ache in your heart.  Once again ask God, "Why??" And listen to see if you hear an answer.  You may not, but listen anyway.  Just fully experience your deepest unanswered prayer today.

Father,
Sometimes we don't see the answers to our most longed-for prayer requests.  We don't know why.  Help us to live faithfully even when we think you have turned away from us.  Help us to trust you.  Amen.

Joys:   My whole family at Advent service last night and helping to put up the tree and decorate for Advent; a day at home alone with Richard today; one more week until vacation!